“When you educate a woman, you educate a community.
And when you empower a community of women, you create a sisterhood that can change the world”.
I’m passionate about love empowerment, self-value, and authentic feminine leadership.
I am a proud Puerto Rican woman. Raised in Brooklyn.
Sometimes you discover what you’re meant to do at a very young age.
I was naturally the go-to-girl for advice among my friends and family. I should’ve been the little girl with an advice booth, you know, rather than a lemonade stand.
I remember at the age of 15 being in the middle of a peer leadership group meeting in high school, we were having a debate about virginity. And I said “I don’t agree that a woman should wait until she’s married to have sex. A woman should wait until she is (emotionally) ready.
“Why should we save ourselves for them? They don’t save themselves for us. And why does someone else get to determine my value based on something they don’t want me to do, but they can do it and they’re still seen as valuable?”
There I was, a 15 year old, revolting against a cultural and societal expectation of females.
Fast forward to my junior year in college, where I was now among educated women who were sexually active.
Women began coming to me with stories of frustration around their love lives, specifically around their sexual decision-making. It was now about getting to the heart of where women were emotionally, physically and mentally when making these choices. This discovery inspired me to finally let go of becoming a lawyer, which was someone else’s dream for me. Instead, I chose to pursue my graduate studies in Clinical Psychology and to complete intensive certifications in both sex education and sex therapy.
During my final year in grad school, I began my dream job as the Program Coordinator of a Teen Pregnancy Prevention program in 6 different high schools in the Bronx. I loved being an integral part of a program that had such a positive impact on the lives of teens and their families. But I realized, that this type of support, that has the capacity to make a powerful impact; was not available for women.
This prompted me to quit my “dream job” and become an entrepreneur in 2007, during my final year of graduate school.
Now with over 10 years as an entrepreneur, I have both developed and provided love coaching programs that have helped countless women create healthy and fulfilling romantic lives from the inside out.
When I’m not providing love coaching and speaking on stages, you can find me volunteering and being an influencer through mentoring women and youth in my local and national professional and cultural communities.
When I want to have more fun, you can catch me dancing salsa and bachata…
MY LOVE BREAKTHROUGH STORY
All of my heartbreaks are relevant to my personal growth and who I am as a woman today.
But the one I’ll share was the most painful. It happened 10 years ago. It gave me the opportunity to go from heartbreak to heart-breakthrough. It’s actually the reason why I became a Love Coach. After finishing grad school and getting the professional training I needed to become a Sex Educator and Sex Therapist, life decided to enroll me in the School of Love Hard Knocks. I swear it felt like the Superbowl and World Series of heartbreaks.
A lot of women say they would love for a man to fight for their relationship and I was one of those women. But what I realized was that sometimes people are fighting to get you to just believe what they’re saying; not to actually be with you. They’re not standing for the relationship. And you’re just waiting for them to. I swear that was it. The going back and forth of our relationship to the point where I couldn’t even call it a relationship. I just called it “things we had between us”. Connection, passion, understanding each other, big visions for what we wanted to do in the world and our community. He was the man I thought was going to be my life partner and we were going to create a family together.
But it finally got to a point where I couldn’t see where he ended and I began. It was a lot of broken agreements in a relationship that I should’ve ended sooner.
I chose to end things (without discussing it with him), because our conversations were me trying to get answers and work things out and him gaslighting. This just leads to what my sister would call “a whole lot of nothing”. And it was evident (at least to me) that it was over. I noticed he was ok with the way things were going; all the back and forth. But I wasn’t. I kept hoping we would go back to the way things were at the beginning of our relationship. I wanted stability, companionship and growth again. In the end, we were just not right for
each other. So I ended it during my last semester of graduate school in April 2007. One night, all alone in my Bronx apartment in the dark. I said to myself out loud,
“I want a family. I want to get married. He’s showing me he doesn’t want those things.
I love him. But I love me more”.
And in that moment, I let go of the dream. The plan we made together for our lives. Then I cried an ocean. Choosing to detach from him felt like an emotional surgery (that I was performing on myself without anesthesia). I was doing everything I could to focus during finals, finishing my internship, decluttering my apartment and my heart. My mother came to visit me and there were times where I just hugged her and cried; not saying much of anything. I was so grateful to have her there. She saw me and just loved me for who I am.
As I healed, I journaled a lot and created activities from it. I became healthier physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I did deep self reflection and reviewed my choices and beliefs about men, relationships and myself. Specifically, where I broke agreements with myself that led to being with my ex as long as I did. I reconnected with my self value by creating my own love values and standards;
all the things that mattered to me in relationships and how I wanted live them with a partner. I started to love by example in order to teach men how to treat me, again. Seeing men for who they truly were based on their consistent patterns of behavior; not their words or sporadic grand gestures. Because I learned they will just fall back into their patterns when they’re back in your good graces. But I didn’t stick around to allow it anymore.
I also began re-learning to say no…again and again. And courageously walking away from men who didn’t honor or agree with my boundaries and the type of committed relationship I wanted and needed.
I remembered that No is not just a word. It’s a muscle. You need to train it, so it stays fit and strong enough to maintain your boundaries.
While healing and doing my own inner work for personal growth, I continued to live a rich fulfilling life and developed amazing healthy relationships since. I never gave up on me, love and men, before and after that relationship. I reconnected with my power by taking responsibility for my choices. Not punishing myself in anyway. But instead recognizing my power in my ability to respond in challenging situations that didn’t align with my emotional well-being. Rather than choosing to be passive and behave as if life just happens to me.
This is how I healed. And since then, I practice what I preach and teach what I practice. I became more me again.
And I promise you, you can become more you again.
Lisa Velázquez helps powerful single women reconnect with their self-value to get ready for the love life they desire. She is the Founder of Lisa Talks Love and CEO of Wonder Womyn, where she is a Love Coach, Speaker, Ladypreneur, and Philanthropist. A boutique lovestyle coaching company for professional single women. Her vision is to cultivate a community around the world of women who live well, date wise and love sexy.
With her straight talk about love, Lisa has an intuitive gift for getting to the heart of the matter of what’s blocking a woman on her love journey and guide her to break through. She has a great pulse on the flexible lifestyle needs and romantic desires of powerful single women. Lisa is a highly sought-after expert for her inside scoop on love culture, modern dating trends, hot healthy relationships and authentic feminine leadership. She has been a featured guest on numerous podcasts, magazines, books, telesummits, programs and, conferences.
For over 10 years, Lisa has been the business woman’s go-to expert on sex, dating, and relationships through teaching them how to create the emotional freedom to live well, date wise, and love sexy within her transformational private and group coaching programs, and live events. Lisa attended Teachers College, Columbia University for a Masters in Clinical Psychology. Lisa Velazquez earned a Bachelor of Science in Legal Studies with a Certificate in Puerto Rican/Latin American Studies and a Commencement Award for Distinguished Service from John Jay College of Criminal Justice, City University of New York. Lisa is a Certified, Sex Therapist, Sex Educator and Certified Facilitator for Preventing Adolescent Pregnancy.
Lisa was selected as one of 2014’s influential Latinos of NYC by Latino Leaders Magazine as part of their national initiative: Club Leaders of The Future. She was honored by Wonder Women, Inc. (no affiliation) for their 2011 annual portrait series as one of the top ten women in New York City for her work in dedication to women and girls. Lisa is currently on the Latina Initiative Advisory Council of Girls Incorporated.
As a thought leader and philanthropist with a global vision, her message Love By Example embodies the belief that when you choose to stand for your love values, you can change the world.
Lisa Velazquez was a Youth Coordinator for Teen Outreach Reproductive Challenge (peer education program) within the National Institute or Reproductive Health and NARAL ProChoice New York. She helped the adolescents develop facilitation skills as they are trained to talk to youth groups about human sexuality, body image/ self-esteem issues, healthy relationships, health care rights and options, and political empowerment.
Lisa Velazquez spent much of her college education mobilizing her college community by advocating for gender equality and diversity within student organizations and leadership as the Student Government, Senior Representative and on the Student Activities Association, Board of Directors. She continued to utilize her voice to diligently promote safer-sex practices for STD/HIV, unintended pregnancy prevention and female sexuality empowerment by providing positive sexuality awareness events as the President of the Association for Puerto Rican Studies.
During her Presidency, Lisa coordinated events such as, Latina Sexuality: Breaking Down the Myths, the APRS Latino Award Ceremony: Honoring Latino Students for Excellence in Academics, Sports and Community Service, the Law School Forum in collaboration with the Latin American Students Association of New York University, School of Law.
Her current project is Women for Puerto Rico Spring 2019. A self care and personal development conference for women entrepreneurs where one hundred percent of the ticket sales will be donated to the Hurricane Relief and Reconstruction efforts in Puerto Rico.
Lisa’s humanitarian vision is to empower women and youth all over the world to reach their ideal potential and pursue their life’s passion.